Dear Willow: How Do I Calm My Mind?

Willow Ryan

Contributor - Yoga, Massage & Bodywork

Portland, Oregon, United States


Dear Willow,


I’ve been following your posts on Facebook for a while and noticed you write about the emotions of anger, sadness, fear, hurt, and guilt. I feel that I am moving into a new level of life and it’s full of wonder and peace. However, on the other side there is this crazy pull back into my old thoughts of anger and fear, which is my favorite self-loathing. I go running to my yoga breath and there it is again. What would you recommend to get out of those dark spots when they show up and bring their friends?




Needs Momentum


Dear Needs Momentum,


There are a few specific processes I use one-on-one with clients wanting to take their lives to the next level. In these processes we incorporate neurostrategies with NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming: How we use the language of our mind to consistently achieve specific and desired outcomes) to design a strategy for achieving the next life level. All the below questions are designed to elicit your unconscious mind’s response, so go with the first answer that comes and write them down.


What are the behaviors that mark how you are feeling?


Behaviors are indicative of our internal dialogue and external dialogue, which are linguistic markers of our thoughts and belief systems. If we behave a certain way it is a result of what we are thinking about.




When a person is doing the best they can and unable to break through the next level of living, it can usually be a result of repressed anger, sadness, fear, hurt or guilt. Most other emotions felt can be traced down to one of these deeper emotions, and sometimes they mask what is truly at the root.


Do you know if anger and fear are the deepest layers you are experiencing?


Choosing to feel anger and fear can be a conditioned response that results from a specific need not getting met. There are six human needs:


  1. Certainty
  2. Variety
  3. Love and Connection
  4. Significance
  5. Growth
  6. Contribution


What are your top two needs? Are they being met now?

If not, how can you get your needs met in a positive and serving way?

Do you have a plan or strategy? What is it? Who do you have supporting you and helping you strategize?


The unconscious mind stores and organizes memories, represses them, and lets them come to the surface when it’s safe for the body and mind to resolve emotions and memories. It sounds like your unconscious mind is signaling to you that it is time to work with these deep layers. Congratulations, freedom lies ahead!




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