This past weekend I attended the three-day Landmark Forum seminar. The Landmark Forum is a personal training and development seminar to help attendees live a more fulfilled and present life. At first I was a bit skeptical and it felt like something I had to do because lululemon sent me there since I am part of the lululemon ambassador program. However, by the second day of the Forum, I really got some insight into areas of my life where I was perhaps being inauthentic and not taking full responsibility.

In my years of self-exploration through yoga and meditation, I discovered stories that I held onto and did a lot of work in releasing old hurt and forgiving those I needed to forgive. This was nothing new to me as I was exposed to this type of deep work at the ashram. During the Forum, though, what really set in for me is how much of our conversations, internally and externally, are just a story and a perception of what happened, as opposed to the actual facts of what occurred. This made me think about the choices we make based on our stories and perceptions.

For example, you may know of a bodybuilder who was bullied as a child and started lifting weights as a way to prevent it from ever happening ever again. Or you may know a yogi who took up yoga because he or she needed to reduce stress, but is still working eighty hours a week. Perhaps this person learned from hsi or her parents that in order to be successful you must work many hours. What about the runner who was called fat growing up and runs daily to keep weight off rather than for the pure enjoyment of running? Anything that gets someone to exercise is a blessing, but we must truly take a look at our lives and ask ourselves, “Why?” and, “Is it working?”

It is important to embrace the past with acceptance and stop living in the stories we have created that shape who we are today. I used to run to keep weight off because as a gymnast and springboard diver there was a lot of pressure to be thin. When I was fourteen years old and at the peak of my gymnastics career I stepped on a scale and it read 117. I was horrified and started to monitor my weight frantically. It was through meditation as a teenager that I began to examine my mind, and in college that I finally started to accept my body. Today I do yoga and meditation to keep my mind and body balanced and clear.

We must take responsibility for all of our actions. After attending a yoga class, do you get in the car and speed home, cursing the drivers in your way? Unfortunately in Los Angeles this is a reality! Yes, I believe that sixty to ninety minutes of peace is better than none, but is it possible to hold onto it and bring it into daily life?

Do you do yoga because your doctor told you it would reduce your stress? (By the way, it will!) But what happens before and after yoga class? You must take responsibility for your life to produce lasting balance. Adding one more thing to your plate such as yoga may stress you out more until you make space for it by cutting out the old, unhealthy, stressful habits.

If you are truly honest with yourself and in assessing your motivations you realize that you workout to look good, then explore the possibility this may be guiding other areas of your life too. You may find you stretch the truth to look good or commit to things you don’t really want to do because it you may feel it would look bad to say no. Can you simply say you are sorry and take full responsibility when you are late for an appointment rather than making an excuse and blaming something or someone else?

Maybe you run to feel good about yourself, but does it last long after the run? In many cases it does, but let’s take it further. Are you eating in a way that feels good? Are you honestly creating connections that feel good and support who you genuinely are? Life is too short to live a life that doesn’t authentically honor you truly are rather than living in a way to prove yourself to someone else.

Whatever your reasons for exercising, I encourage your to make a commitment to engage in life fully. There is more to life than the treadmill, weight room, and yoga mat. Maybe explore something new this week. Perhaps you choose to add yoga to your weightlifting routine or join a running group to connect with others. Whatever you choose, make an effort to become present to the reality that life is much fuller when we stop making excuses and let go of the old stories. Go live your life because you are awesome just the way you are!

Photos courtesy of Shutterstock.

The post Examining the “Why” – Why Do You Exercise and Is It Working for You? appeared first on Breaking Muscle.

I’ve heard “free your voice” spoken for a decade or more but remained untrusting and unknowing as to what this truly meant. I mean, I thought I already did this. I thought I was already speaking what I wanted loudly and boldly. And to varying degrees I was. Except to the people to whom I was closest. I realized getting the words out when feeling intimidated or lacking in confidence was impossible. I wanted to speak up. I wanted to say what I really thought, but I was too scared. In some circumstances, I would just cower. I wouldn’t stand up for myself. I developed strategies for hiding, but had not yet developed strategies to increase personal confidence to come out of feeling shy or scared.

Having a voice sounds like a great theory but how does one not have a voice when they are in a conversation or have relationships? I didn’t get it until I began to realize that I was withholding my deepest opinions, emotions, feelings, and requests. I was not speaking up on my own behalf. Some people I could speak to with integrity of heart and mind, while with others there was a disconnect. In these situations, I saw a veil of fire that I would have to pass through. This was my greatest fear being revealed to me. I was scared I would be abandoned or killed because of my speaking up. A historical reality passed along to modern times. Death is the ultimate threat to control someone from speaking or acting in a way that goes against the tribe or culture.

Withholding became my illness. It became a slow strangle around my heart. I caused myself years of grief and suffering because I held on so tightly around the deeper truths. I tensed every fiber, every muscle 24 hours a day. My body ached and my mind prevented a reframing of the truths. I became a master sugar coater. But I felt a rumbling from deep in my bones. I wasn’t joining my heart and mind. The two missed each other. They longed to unite again. But the path was going to be long and I felt great fears as well as incredible excitement around liberation.

• What are your deepest thoughts and opinions?
• Do you stand up for yourself?
• Are you holding back speaking truthfully?

These questions can help you reveal answers about your own psychology:

• Do you have burning desires or curiosities you daydream about?
• Are you intimidated by certain people?
• Do you fear disappointing another person because of what you really want to say, wear, eat, do?
• Do you fear losing a relationship with a family member, friend, peer, or significant other if you actually act on, speak, or reveal your true thoughts?
• Do you fear losing your own life if you speak up?
• Are there any reality-based consequences if you speak up?
• Would you really be killed or shunned or abandoned?
• Does the risk of speaking up mitigate the risk of choking it down?
• Are there reality-based consequences if you remain silent?

To initiate change you must first be willing to risk taking a leap into the unknown. Practice speaking up in smaller situations to begin the process of walking through fears toward bigger challenges.

These tips have helped me feel alive, vibrant, and well. I no longer feel myself wringing the life essence out of my own marrow. The slow death of my spirit has greater consequences to me than worrying about losing someone I love. I recommend you think hard about what you can gain from stepping into a greater sense of speaking up for your dreams, values, and requests. Instead of ‘winging’ it, spend time preparing yourself for the upcoming battle with your will.

Steps Toward Authentication:

1. Visualize: See the end result you want.
2. Seated Meditation: Be still while asking yourself what you want to express. Practice saying it out loud at least ten times to get familiar with hearing the words outside your brain waves.
3. Walking: Take yourself for a walk to get the energy in motion or work out the emotions that come with the expression. Physical exercise and walking, more specifically, help the body masticate emotions to reveal a message with clarity. Walking also allows you the time, space, and energy to unclog a stuck throat or unlock a clenched jaw that tightens to keep the expressions choked down.
4. Horse Stance: Get your legs powered up and primed to hold your body and brain steady before you express your mind.
5. Pranayama: 10-count inhale and Lion’s breath exhale. Do this for 5 or more rounds. Lion’s breath guides our inner will and power to move up from the belly, through the throat, and into the world or ears of the listener.
6. Risk: Remember the benefits to speaking your mind and heart will align with your spirit.
7. Recite: At least ten benefits to saying what you must.
8. Do It: Speak it! Act it! Slow steps. Take your time to get the expression out.
9. Congratulations: Reward yourself with a few moments to process and take in that you just did something heroic – for yourself!

When you finish, breathe and ask yourself what you learned from the experience. What else did you learn? What else? What benefits did you reveal?

This process can be done over and over again. It is especially good when you are making a big decision. It can mitigate the fears as you take a leap into unknown territory. In these actions alone, blood flows more smoothly, internal pressures lessen, strength is restored and stress induced illnesses lessen as you increase your chances for living a longer, tension free life.

I’ve been greatly rewarded in my own life with a deeper sense of love and joy as a result of speaking up when I have fears. My heart and mind are reunited and every time I pass through the fire veil of fear I get stronger. I have rebuilt my confidence and esteem, and now I know how to take charge of myself. You can, too.

Photos courtesy of Shutterstock.

The post How to Heal Your Body and Heart by Finding Your Voice appeared first on Breaking Muscle.