Athlete Journal: Alli Moyer, Entry 7 – 11/21/2013

It aggravates me when people base the “success” of their life on the successes of others, and yet I’m guilty myself of being far too concerned with what others think of me and my progress.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Welcome to the athlete journal of Allison Moyer. Allison is a nationally ranked NPC Figure Athlete, nationally and internationally published fitness model, an avid CrossFit athlete, BSN, C.P.T, C.S.N, C.N.W.C, and owner ofAlli Fitness Systems and Predator Diet. Read all about Allison’s unique approach to training and diet every other week.

“The grandest seduction of all is the myth that doing everything perfectly gets us where we want to be. It gets us somewhere, certainly, but not anywhere worth being.” 

– Shauna Niequist

I need to confess something – I am consistently guilty of being my own worst critic. It aggravates me when people base the success of their life on the successes of others, and yet I’m guilty myself of being far too concerned with what others think of me and my progress. And in the end, my successes and failures never have and never will affect anyone but me. In fact, often times I think I fail to progress as well as I could not only because my idea of success is skewed, but also because I’m bogged down under my own inflicted self doubt.

But where does this self doubt come from?

I’ve been a high-pressure individual my whole life. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t hard on myself – in sports, in school, and in fitness. I think all of us, regardless of our endeavor, are chasing down this notion of perfection. We’re striving to be flawless, without error, unmarred. We are usually looking around at other’s successes and seeing anything less than that same level of achievement as being a pure failure.

It could be that perfect PR.

That flawless run.

Lifting that ideal weight.

Achieving that ideal figure physique.

That impeccable run time.

A beautifully executed clean.

“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others.

Fear of failure. Fear of success.”

– Michael Law

I think that self doubt, that fear of falling short of perfection is really just that – a fear. And lately, I’ve been realizing that despite the constant striving for perfection, there has to be some acceptance of the process. You have to be willing to concede that your progress, whether perfect or not, is your progress, and it’s irrelevant what others are doing in their own journey. Progress means errors, setbacks, mistakes, failures, and scars. And if you think about it, the stuff of life is found in the gritty shadows of failure, in the making of those scars. That’s where we learn about our own strength. It’s where character is forged. It’s where true personal growth occurs. If things are perfect all the time, then we are emotionally, spiritually, and usually physically stagnant.

Perfection always has a high price and is rare. It never comes without some measure of struggle along the way. And while chasing perfection is understandable, beating yourself up when you struggle, comparing your progress to the successes of others, or feeling insufficient if you wind up scarred in the process is not. In fact, I think the more pressure we place on ourselves to be perfect, the less chance we have of actually pushing our limits and growing as people.

“Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.”

– Anne Wilson Schaef

I’m fighting perfectionism every day, working hard not to be so damn hard on myself. Not to be so self-critical. I’m working hard not to let my fear of “falling short” prevent me from embracing the daily victories and the daily progress, no matter how small and no matter how insignificant they may seem when stacked against the progress of others.

Perfectionism can rob you of the joy to be found in the process. It’s a man-made mental barrier. A self-imposed limitation.

So don’t be frightened or daunted by your goals or the challenges in front of you. Don’t be afraid to fail, to get dirty, get bloody, get bruised. Perfect may be the goal, but the path there will leave many marks. And that’s okay. Your life is real, not a fairy tale. Accept it. And start living.

“Too many people spend too much time trying to perfect something before they actually do it. Instead of waiting for perfection, run with what you got, do what you can with what you have, and fix the rest along the way…”

– Paul Arden

Fasted A.M. Training

10 Rounds:

  • 15 Kettlebell swings
  • 100m Sprint
  • 45sec Recovery

Olympic Weightlifting Training

  • 1600m run (warm up)
  • Hang power clean + hang clean + 2 front squat (rest 20 seconds), 5x
  • Clean deadlift 5×3
  • Clean pull 5×3
  • Clean, 5 singles to get to max for the day (135)
  • Power clean 5×5 + 5 box jumps (24”)
  • Weighted pull ups 5×3 (every 30 seconds) – wore a 25lb weighted vest
  • 5 Rounds: Handstand push ups (3-5x), L-hangs (10x)
  • Shoulder circuit (3 rounds): 4x behind the neck press, 6x upright row, 8x rear delt row, 10x dumbbell lateral raise, 12x rear delt fly
  • Skill work: 10 minutes double under practice (epic fail – I SUCK at double unders)
  • Condtioning: 6 rounds of 5 burpee broad jumps, 100m hill sprint, rest 30 seconds

Today’s Thought: “Remember always that you have not only the right to be an individual;
you have an obligation to be one.” -Eleanor Roosevelt