4 Ways to Make Better Connections With Friends, Clients, and Yourself

Don’t hide on the phone, Facebook, or the computer. Examine your emotions and when you shut them down.

With all the gadgets and gizmos produced to make us more connected to one another, it is crazy to think of the plague of loneliness that still exists. According to an article in Business News Daily, the average American spends 23 hours a week on the Internet. This includes time spent on social media, watching videos, and additional online communication.

Feeling is Universal

Romance, violence, and drama flood all forms of media in an effort to draw upon the heartstrings of viewers. Emotions projected on the screen manipulate those felt by the observer. They pull out of us what we long to develop in ourselves. We plug into technology to feed our hearts and pull the plug on real relationships. No wonder there is loneliness. There are cries for attention, affection, and connection in our hearts. But the only way they can be truly satisfied is through sincere connection with those around us.

Men and women alike have wells of raw emotion bubbling inside. This is not only a feminine trait. It crosses gender and culture. Feeling is universal. Feeling is what makes us human and gives us the ability to relate with others.

It is time, my friends, to take a stand for what is really inside us. Have courage and perpetuate empowerment by growing sensitization inside. Reverse the ancient paradigms that feeling is a sign of weakness. The stifling of feelings is what causes weakness, illness, and disease. These emotions wreak havoc in our guts and bloodstream through rising tension and internal conflicts. The sensations we stifle will make their way to the surface, sooner or later.

The Origin of Emotions

Get turned on by what you feel inside and learn to elaborate on those feelings. Look at a dictionary or list of emotions and choose one to focus on. Recall an instance in your life where you felt this emotion. Listen to where the sensation arises inside you as you remember. Make this a consistent practice. What you learn will help with the next stage – communication and expression.

Once you’ve made this a regular practice, then when you are out in the world and the first hint of a feeling arises, you can listen intently to find the origin. Listen to your insides. Take a breath and choose words that best represent what needs to be spoken. Write them down or slowly speak them.

Make Better Connections With These Practices

Eye Contact

Notice how often you make eye contact. Notice how long you look into someone’s eyes. The time can vary depending on what you do or want to feel. The longer the eye contact, the better the connection. Eye contact silently relays the emotions from deep inside. You will notice certain people will feel comforted by it, while others turn away as they may feel shy, uncomfortable with their own feelings, or possess an inability to connect.

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Practice seeing, hearing, and feeling the love you have for someone close to you. Meet with him or her and call up these sensations. Look into his or her eyes for at least five seconds. Don’t stare with hardened eyes, widen them and allow for the communication to transmit with ease. Then ask what he or she thought you were feeling when you looked into each other’s eyes.


Do you resist giving affection? Why? What are your deepest feelings about giving or receiving affection? I was born a deeply affectionate person. When I withhold hugs or eye contact, these are indicators of something going the wrong direction. If giving affection is new for you, start with a small, simple gesture. Shake hands, give a pat on the back, or offer a hug. Be willing to feel uncomfortable or shaky at first. This will evolve with practice.

Asking Feeling Questions

You can become better at understanding your own feelings or how to communicate them by asking what others are feeling. Through your asking, the other person will become connected with you and can feel more at ease. In turn, this practice will help you feel more comfortable with your own feelings.

Turn Off the Phone

Have conversations with people who are physically present with you. Use your voice. Steer into the art of conversation by asking questions about details, listening and piggybacking onto responses with your own experiences.

Courage comes in all forms and for many reasons. It is not just for warriors going into battle. It shows up in small, but significant gestures like overcoming procrastination, resistance, or conflict. Feel freedom inside your self by overriding the social messages of “men don’t cry” or “women are overly emotional.” No one deserves these lies. These thoughts were instilled in us as methods of control, a way for others to keep us in check, ready to do as dictated to.

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Instead, examine the truth behind your emotions and when you shut them down. Don’t hide in the phone, on Facebook, or on the computer. Pierce the veil of shyness, bringing about courage. Participate in life. You will be a happier, more fulfilled version of yourself. Living will be more like thriving.

This is a great message to spread, especially to loved ones with whom you long to have a deeper connection. This is a message worth going viral.

Photos courtesy of Shutterstock.