1. Our increasing sophistication relative to the skill
2. Our metacognitive awareness of that sophistication, or our understanding of our understanding

When we learn a skill, whether it is sports, music, painting, chess, or something completely different, some experts contend that we go through various stages over time. These stages reflect two things:

1. Our increasing sophistication relative to the skill
2. Our metacognitive awareness of that sophistication, or our understanding of our understanding

The Conscious Competence model helps to explain the process by which we move through these stages to acquire a skill and an awareness of our level of acquisition.

Unconscious Incompetence

Unconscious incompetence is the first stage in the model. In this stage, we don’t know much about the skill, and we don’t know how much we don’t know.

In other words, we have only a very rudimentary understanding of what mastery of the skill might entail—and we will eventually find out that understanding is inadequate. We are likely unconsciously incompetent in any arena where we have no experience whatsoever.

Conscious Incompetence

In this stage, we have learned enough about the skill to realize how little we know. Our sophistication has increased somewhat, but so has our awareness of what it would take to get to a level of real sophistication.

This stage can be uncomfortable to enter, because we realize both how little we knew in the previous stage and how much work it will take to progress to further stages.

Conscious Competence

Conscious competence is the stage where we find ourselves able to perform the skill increasingly well, but it takes lots of concentration and hard work to do so.

We have a better appreciation for what it would take to become an expert, and while our performance relative to the skill continues to improve, we are also aware of the need to work at the skill as well as the fact that we are doing things differently from the way we used to do them.

Unconscious Competence

Unconscious competence is the stage where our ability to perform the skill has become almost second nature. We improve still further at our execution of the skill and have to use less conscious effort to do so.

Each of us can probably identify multiple domains in which we are in each of these stages. Being in the conscious stages can be a bit uncomfortable. But that also provides an opportunity for us to improve our metacognition about learning different skills, and to broaden our horizons in general.

Understanding where we are in the stages of skill acquisition can help us become comfortable with the discomfort everyone must feel in order to improve.

The post The 4 Stages of Acquiring Skill Sets appeared first on Breaking Muscle.

Research suggests that piriformis syndrome is a more common cause of sciatica than was earlier believed. This is relevant to athletes⁴ because piriformis syndrome is frequently, though not always, a result of overuse of the piriformis. The piriformis is a muscle in the buttocks attaching at the sacrum and the femur that abuts the sciatic nerve. When the piriformis is injured or goes into spasms, it can entrap, or put pressure on, the sciatic nerve.

Common symptoms of sciatica include lower back pain on one side that extends down the leg. This pain may also be characterized by numbness or weakness. It is this radiation of pain down the leg that differentiates sciatica from other forms of back pain.⁵

Treatment for sciatica varies depending on the cause. Medical professionals may prescribe rest, ice, or physical therapy. They may administer injections to reduce inflammation.⁶ In my own experience with sciatica, which was caused by piriformis syndrome, active release techniques (ART) helped relieve the pressure of the piriformis on my sciatic nerve. Following my treatment, I engaged—and still do engage—in stretching and mobility work.

The post Sciatica and the Sciatic Nerve appeared first on Breaking Muscle.

I was on my back with my instructor in closed guard. One person in the other pair went to sweep his partner, and the other attempted to defend the sweep by back-stepping his heel hard. His heel landed right between my eyes. Everyone on the mat heard the crunch, although I am probably the only one who saw the stars.

A frenzied few minutes ensued, during which the assembled masses ensured that I was, in fact, still alive. There was a frantic search for an ice pack. Those attending to me only heard my muffled, barely intelligible utterings as I writhed on the ground, cradling my face.

Over the coming days, an egg-sized lump rose on my forehead like a nascent horn. I ended up with a pair of shiners and a screaming headache. I’m sure I was concussed, though I foolishly refused to go to the doctor.

A crowded training mat can be a dangerous place. All the more so if the people on it have poor mat awareness.

The Consequences of Lost Awareness

In the immediate aftermath, the person who crashed his foot into my third eye kept repeating to our instructor, “I didn’t hear you.” His partner echoed a similar refrain to anyone who would listen: “I didn’t know you were that close.” They were both contrite and scared that I was seriously injured. I was, but I recovered.

The most notable part of this story is not my injury, but the fact that the other two grapplers were completely unaware of their surroundings. At the time, I could not fathom how that could be true, particularly since my instructor had yelled repeated warnings. They were dangerously encroaching on our training session.

As relative novices in jiu jitsu with probably fewer than three years of experience combined, they lacked mat awareness. Mat awareness is a recognition of one’s physical proximity to other people or things while training. In jiu jitsu, mat awareness can protect you from the danger they pose.

In an ideal jiu jitsu academy, pairs of grapplers would train in their own circumscribed areas, never running into each other with errant feet and elbows. But as my own experience indicates, pairs of grapplers are more often like human billiard balls, rolling and smacking into each other.

Courtesy Promotes Safety on the Mat

Developing mat awareness is how we grapplers can keep each other safe. By building up our spidey senses, we’ll be better able to adjust when we infringe on someone else’s space. In many jiu jitsu academies, etiquette dictates that if two pairs of grapplers get too close, the higher-ranking pair stays put and the lower-ranking pair moves. For example, two purple belts would have to move out of the way of a black belt training with a blue belt.

There is also a convention that a pair of grapplers who are in a stable position, say with one person in the other’s closed guard, should move out of the way of a pair that is involved in a scramble and has not yet established position. The idea is that the closed-guard pair can more easily re-establish position than the scramblers. One challenge, though, is when two sets of scramblers or two sets of closed-guard people are closing in on each other, and then it becomes unclear as to who should move.

Then there are a few who refuse to move even though they see the potential for danger because their egos are dictating their behavior. Sometimes you will be one of these people – I know I have been. But since I have received a first-hand education on the potential for danger, I follow the logic of “foot beats face.” If your white-belt extremity is dangerously close to my purple-belt moneymaker, you can bet I will not stand on ceremony. I will move. After the fact, I will do my best to educate all involved about our mutual responsibilities. I am in no rush to repeat my double-shiner experience anytime soon.

There are a few rules of thumb regarding who should move and who should stay put, but immediate safety trumps them all.

Competition Hones Awareness

Unfortunately, there may be a direct correlation between mat awareness and jiu jitsu experience. The very people who have the highest need to recognize the potential for a collision are the ones least cognitively equipped to do so.

This solidifies the importance of competition experience for the well-rounded grappler. Competitors in the heat of battle must learn which stimuli to ignore (crowds cheering, announcements), and which to attend to (their coach’s voice, the referee, their own state of arousal, the opponent). Competition experience teaches a grappler how to identify what needs attention and how to focus on multiple things at once.

Mat awareness is an important part of any grappler’s skillset, but the challenge is how to propagate it in our academies and other training spaces. Should it be explicitly taught? Are lower belts more capable of recognizing potential danger than I am giving them credit for? In any case, for the safety of everyone on the mat, it needs to be part of the conversation at any BJJ academy.

What are your thoughts about mat awareness? Do you think it is important? Do you have a method of teaching it at your academy? Post your observations and opinions to comments.

More Lessons From the Mat:

• From Rehearsal to Reality: How to Train for Chaos
• 3 Training Mistakes That Leave Fighters Too Smoked for Skill Work
• Strength for BJJ: 3 Guard-Opening Exercises
• New on Breaking Muscle Today

Photos courtesy of Baltimore BJJ.

The post Foot Beats Face: Mat Awareness and Safety in BJJ appeared first on Breaking Muscle.

I get to work with good people all the time in my capacity as one of the principals of Groundswell Grappling Concepts, which hosts jiu jitsu camps for female and co-ed audiences. At one of the recent co-ed camps, I had the opportunity to meet and become friends with Chris Gleeson, an attendee who thinks about how he can be a force for good in the jiu jitsu world. (No wonder we get along so well.) This article is a collaborative effort between Chris and me, and it is our attempt to contribute to a conversation about how those of us who love jiu jitsu and also care about living a principled life can bring both to bear in a positive way on the BJJ community.

If you have ever thought about how to bring positive energy to your own academy and to the larger jiu jitsu community, read on for ten suggestions from us. We hope they provide some food for thought for those of you who want to counter and ultimately eradicate the need for depressing BJJ headlines.

10 Ways to Inject Positivity

#1: Employ the Golden Rule

First, repeat it to yourself to get it in your mind: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Think about what it would really take to employ it, rather than immediately checking the box in your mind. Consider remembering a time when someone did not use the Golden Rule with you. How did that feel? How would you have preferred that person act toward you?

#2: Think Before You Press Send

We are constantly bombarded with opinions that differ from our own, in jiu-jitsu and in life in general. Even if you vehemently disagree with something someone in the jiu jitsu community has posted online, do you need to flame him or her? Do you honestly believe that flaming someone will bring about a change of heart? Could you instead consider trying to craft a reasoned argument explaining why you disagree? Respectful debate is a cornerstone of any healthy community, not name-calling and disdain.

#3: Support Practitioners Who Share Your Values

We do not believe jiu jitsu is about legislating behavior writ large. But if you attend the seminars or support the events of people whose priorities differ significantly from your own along the dimensions of integrity and respect for others, ask yourself why – or at least consider other options. It’s likely there are alternative events that offer just as much value and are put on by people you mesh with ideologically. Along those lines…

#4: If You See Something Bad, Say Something

Whether it is de-escalating your own training when it gets too intense, coming to the defense of someone who is being berated – online or in person – or calling out someone on his or her entitlement behavior, walk your talk. It is amazing how many awkward or uncomfortable situations can be resolved simply by having an honest conversation with the people involved.

#5: Pay it Forward

When you are in a position to help an up-and-coming enthusiast, consider throwing him or her a bone. “Like” her tournament poster. Attend his open mat. Connect them with people who can help them take their next step in the jiu jitsu world. Of course you do not have to give away your services to everyone, but chances are you have been the recipient of good will from one or more practitioners in your day. Follow in their footsteps.

#6: Consider Your Language

We like a good f-bomb as much as the next person, but there is a time and place for everything. There are jokes that are totally appropriate in context and among friends, but taken out of context or simply overheard by others they can sound totally different. For example, pejoratives based on gender or sexual orientation can be “understood” in certain contexts and still end up being taken differently by others. We are not suggesting you parse every single thing you say for the potential to offend, but rather, err on the side of speaking with caution and compassion.

#7: Be Willing to Invest in the New Members of Your Academy

Ultimately, the way people become enthusiasts is by falling in love with the art. Whether or not this happens is tremendously influenced by what kind of experience people have in the beginning of their training, before they decide if they want to stick around long term.

While it’s true that people first starting out often find the more experienced people at their gym to be a bit aloof, you can help them by going out of your way to make them feel included. This can be as big as offering to drill with them for a few rounds to help them retain the day’s lesson, or as small as a smile when they walk past you as they arrive. This investment has the potential to pay a huge return for you and your school in the long run.

#8 Remember That Almost Everyone Is Looked Up to

This is obviously true for coaches and professors, but even white belts who have only trained for a few months will be looked up to by the very newest beginners (who arrive not even knowing how to tie their belt, so help them with that, please). We all set an example for others. As writer Sam Harris says, “Specific beliefs produce specific actions.” If you understand and believe you are in a role model position (yes, even as a white belt), this will positively influence your actions on and off the mat.

#9 Have Fun on the Mat

The value of having fun on the mat is easily overlooked. It’s so easy to get swept up in the competitive nature of jiu jitsu that we can lose track of the sense of fun that inspired us to start in the first place. Sometimes people forget you can take this sport seriously, train hard, push yourself…and still have fun. Fun is a “secret ingredient” that can contribute to a positive mat culture.

“Create an environment on our mats that welcomes women and minorities, as well as people of all gender identification and sexual orientation, age, and ability levels.”

The more smiling faces you see on any given mat, the healthier that mat tends to be for everyone who walks onto it, and this is something that can be grown and cultivated. All it really takes is a willingness to try things for fun, be eager to experiment, communicate honestly, and not try to “win the training,” as the legendary Hannette Staack would say.

#10: Dig for Your Unique Qualities

Figure out what unique qualities you bring to the community. Techniques succeed when the proper force is applied in the proper direction at the proper time. People succeed in the same manner, and knowing when and how to apply yourself is a key element to achieving success. So, if you are motivated to do some good in your community, take some time to really reflect on what you have to offer. Whatever you discover will help guide you as you look to give something back. There is no such thing as a person who has nothing to offer. Check out Groundswell Grappling events or The Just Roll Podcast as just two examples of how we chose to try to contribute to the jiu jitsu community.

Ground Yourself & Keep Perspective

The Internet has connected us in ways both great and small. As a result, our definition of community has become bigger than just the people in our own school or affiliation. We live in a hyper-connected world where our BJJ family can now be linked across great distances, both geographical and cultural. We are expanding from the kind of family that we are born into to the kind of family that we choose for ourselves. As our reach extends, so does our influence, and that is why it is so important to make sure our actions align with our beliefs. This particularly applies to creating an environment on our mats that welcomes women and minorities, as well as people of all gender identification and sexual orientation, age, and ability levels.

The philosopher Plutarch said, “The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.” We believe this is true for everyone, and we hope this list helps kindle a flame inside you to think about how you can become a force for good on your mats and in your larger community. We all have to live in the world that we help create. Why not take an active role in shaping it for the better?

You’ll also enjoy:

• How to Adjust Your Training Variables to Reach Your BJJ Goals
• How to Train BJJ With a More Experienced Practitioner
• Advice for BJJ Beginners
• New on Breaking Muscle Today

Photos courtesy of Baltimore BJJ.

The post 10 Ways to Inject Positivity Into Your BJJ Community appeared first on Breaking Muscle.

Just as I got to the front of the line and was being beckoned by the next available librarian, an older female patron walked in the door and immediately to that librarian, cutting in front of me and the rest of the people in line.

“Excuse me,” I said to her. “There is a line.” And I pointed behind me.

“Oh, I don’t need to check anything out,” the woman said. “I just need to ask a question.”

“I’m sure someone can help you once you get to the front of the line.” I again pointed behind me.

“But I just need to ask a question,” she repeated.

“Line,” I repeated and re-pointed.

The flustered patron looked at the librarian, who shrugged and smiled, understandably not wanting to get in the middle of things. By this time, I had walked up to both of them and placed myself between the patron and the librarian so I could get my transaction done.

“But–”

“Ma’am, everyone has to wait in line. That’s what the rest of us have been doing since before you got here.”

The patron stared daggers at me, but by God, she went to the end of the line. And the rest of the members of that line shot me non-verbal atta-girls – thumbs-ups and smiles – when she wasn’t looking.

The Basis of Entitlement

For whatever reason, this patron had decided she was entitled to cut in front of everyone else. And she’s not alone. I see people over-exercising their entitlement muscles all the time. Sometimes they are justified, but all too often there seems to be some kind of mental gymnastics going on such that people decide they deserve special treatment for a reason known only to them.

“When we try to entitle ourselves to things we are not actually entitled to, we communicate to others that we are better than they are, whether in jiu jitsu or otherwise.”

I think of entitlement as the belief that I deserve something though I haven’t actually earned it and/or though common sense, hard evidence, or convention dictates otherwise. The library patron felt entitled to speak to the librarian, but by trying to jump the line, she had not yet earned the right. She tried to circumvent the convention of line standing, which no one particularly loves, but which we know is a requirement of living in polite society.

Entitlement in BJJ

Unfortunately, random acts of entitlement happen in Brazilian jiu jitsu just as in other walks of life. Those of us who are further up the grappling totem pole do deserve some acknowledgement of the time and effort it took to make the climb. Due to this effort, jiu jitsu black belts and other higher-belt leaders are entitled to certain benefits within the realm of jiu jitsu.

These benefits may vary from academy to academy, but here are a few common ones:

• The same respect that would be afforded any leader in the context in which that leader has demonstrated experience and skill
• First selection of partners
• Lower belts moving out of the way if two pairs run into each other during live training

There are others, but you get the idea. However, some black/higher belts assume that our rank entitles us to treatment and benefits that have nothing to do with BJJ. Some of us have somehow concluded that when we outrank others, as grapplers, it means we outrank them in general, as people.

I use the first person plural because I know I have been guilty of unwarranted entitlement before and, unfortunately, despite my efforts to police myself, will probably be guilty of it again. Some entitlement behavior lies toward the benign end of the spectrum, like expecting that someone else will always drive if a group is going somewhere. This is a bit self-centered, but not overtly harmful. Other expectations, though, represent more nefarious boundary violations.

Entitlement Is a Slippery Slope

It can be a slippery slope, particularly for those of us who spend most of our time with jiu jitsu people even when we are not training. We may socialize with other grapplers, and it can be difficult to draw a clear line between situations where a jiu jitsu hierarchy is appropriate and where real life enters the picture. Traveling with teammates to a competition is a good example of this, as it mixes jiu jitsu-related situations, such as the coach shouting commands to the competing athlete, with more everyday ones, such as deciding who gets to choose the restaurant.

“I think of entitlement as the belief that I deserve something though I haven’t actually earned it and/or though common sense, hard evidence, or convention dictates otherwise.” 

But the fact that the line can be blurry does not absolve us of the responsibility to do all we can, all the time, to clarify and respect it. A hierarchy that is justifiable in the context of jiu jitsu has no automatic bearing on our rights and entitlements in the rest of the world. If we want entitlements “out there,” we must earn them in corresponding ways, and I’m willing to bet most of these ways have nothing to do with how good we are at attacks from [insert name of your favorite guard].

In fact, here is what our black belts entitle us to in non-jiu jitsu situations:

1. Nothing
2. Zilch
3. Zip

We are not black belts in everything. Our expertise and that to which we are even remotely entitled are confined to a relatively small subset of all possible life experiences. Though jiu jitsu may take up most of our time and attention, the majority of people in the world probably couldn’t give less of a crap about our sick kneebar or our superhuman grip strength. Off the mat, we have to stand in line, just like everyone else.

You Are Not a Black Belt in Everything

Why am I bringing this up? Because as a black belt, I take seriously what I see as a responsibility to steward the best that jiu jitsu has to offer. When we try to entitle ourselves to things we are not actually entitled to, we communicate to others that we are better than they are, whether in jiu jitsu or otherwise.

And I do not want to send this message. I am not in any way suggesting we coddle lower belts or enable inappropriate behavior on their part. The only thing more annoying than a black belt with an oversized sense of entitlement is a lower belt with one. But as black belts, we can set the tone and create a good model for others to follow.

What are your thoughts about entitlement in jiu jitsu, both among the leadership and the up-and-coming? Is it a big problem, or am I overreacting? Join me in the forums with your thoughts.

Check out these related articles:

• 7 Things I Have Learned About BJJ From Joe Rogan
• The Trials and Trade-Offs of Being a Competitive Athlete
• Tough Lessons From My Teacher – Learning to Value Our Learning
• What’s New On Breaking Muscle Today?

Photos 1 and 2 courtesy of Shutterstock.

Photos 3 and 4 coutesy of Ana Nieves.

The post Combating Entitlement: You Have a Black Belt In Jiu Jitsu, Not Life appeared first on Breaking Muscle.

I like to think that Spike genuinely likes Chester. Otherwise, why would he hang out with him? But Spike may have seen a few things in his day that promote his world-weariness and impatience. Of course this doesn’t justify him smacking Chester. (Does it? No, of course not. Just checking. I mean, nothing.)

If we imagine Spike and Chester as analogs for black and white belts and that the clip is about jiu jitsu, neither black-belt Spike nor white-belt Chester has cornered the market on the “correct” attitude. Each is authentic, and each is consistent with different phases of the grappling journey. Chester is newer and more excited, while Spike is more experienced and more aware of the cost-benefit ratio.

“BJJ has given me tremendous gifts, but it has also taken a heavy toll. I train differently now than I did when I was not as far along in my journey.”

As a long-standing student of BJJ, I still enjoy moments of Chester-like adoration, but my outlook has shifted toward a calmer, Spikier affection. BJJ has given me tremendous gifts, but it has also taken a heavy toll. I train differently now than I did when I was not as far along in my journey. And I know more than I did then, which puts me in a better position to answer the question – how should lower belts train with higher belts?

I do not speak for every higher belt, so I cannot say how they want lower belts to train with them. But I wager the following items have some universality. With that in mind, read on for a few observations about this question, targeted to lower belts.

Your Demeanor Communicates as Clearly as Your Words

Many times I have stepped on the mat to find myself facing a less-experienced grappler who sees the color of my belt and communicates with body language and energy, “I’m gonna get a piece of you.” The unspoken message is as tangible as Spike smacking Chester. This person intends to “win the training,” as my friend and business partner Hannette Staack would say. This is a person who appears to have nothing to lose and everything to prove, and who appears to view rolling with a higher belt as an opportunity not to learn, but to feed an ego.

I’m not talking about a competition match or class. I’m not even talking about hard training, which is awesome with good partners and attitudes. I’m talking about friendly open mats or regular class sessions where a lower belt locks onto a higher belt, onto beating that higher belt, like a heat-seeking missile locks onto a target.

“We who have been around many years have learned that not every match has to be contested as if lives hung in the balance. In some situations, simply working on the puzzle is perfectly fine.”

Sadly, at times I have probably been the missile myself. And of course, not every lower belt does this, and the ones who do may not recognize the energy they are giving off. But those on the receiving end do. We who have been around many years have learned that not every match has to be contested as if lives hung in the balance. In some situations, simply working on the puzzle is perfectly fine.

Many of us old-timers are also nursing longstanding injuries brought on by years of jiu jitsu. We work around these injuries so we can keep getting on the mat, which means we probably do not want to fight multiple steel-cage death matches. And finally, another reason that kind of energy can be tiring is because it is self-centered.

Continue to Page Two

Make Sure the Pace You Choose Suits Your Intentions

According to my unscientific longitudinal investigation, higher belts will let the lower belt they roll with set the pace. If the lower belt starts out collaboratively, the higher belt will do the same.

Conversely, if the lower belt comes on like a bat out of hell, the higher belt will ramp up. So, lower belts should choose a pace consistent with what they want to get out of the roll. And if they only have one pace, they might consider broadening their horizons.

If a less-experienced grappler comes at me full-bore, intent on winning the training, I resort to my Jiu Jitsu Hierarchy of Needs, and at this point, safety is at the tippy-top. Especially my safety. Especially if my partner has a different hierarchy.

For example: One time, I paired up with someone I outranked. Our roll started out pleasantly, but then I hit a sweep. As I was establishing top position, the energy between us took a 180. I sensed it, and then I heard this person mutter, “Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be.” I immediately put distance between us, and when we squared off again, I pulled closed guard and broke this person’s posture with an overhook and a high guard. My partner spent the rest of the time working to regain posture, and I spent the rest of the time preventing it.

This was probably just as useful for my partner as it was for me – not at all useful. But I intended to keep myself safe. If I had it to do again, I would have stopped after hearing the comment, extended my hand, and said, “Thank you. I’m going to sit out the rest of the round,” rather than running out the clock. If my partner had it to do again, I hope a different intention would have won the day. But the point is, at this stage of my career, I am far less likely to take on that kind of energy.

“If a less-experienced grappler comes at me full-bore, intent on winning the training, I resort to my Jiu Jitsu Hierarchy of Needs, and at this point, safety is at the tippy-top.”

Every now and then I see or hear people complain when bigger and stronger people roll lightly with them, particularly if the smaller person outranks the bigger person. The complainers claim the bigger person is being disrespectful, because their higher rank indicates they can handle the heat, and the bigger person should respect that.

I think differently. When a lower belt – or anybody – who outweighs me by 100, fifty, or even twenty pounds starts slowly in a training session with me, my reaction is always, “Thank you.” I would much rather start this way than immediately be the target of a small asteroid. The fact that these people err on the side of caution suggests a jiu jitsu hierarchy like mine. My partner and I can always up the intensity, but if a roll starts at eleven, it’s already over the cliff. It’s like adding salt to a meal. If you use a little, you can always add more. But if you dump it on and then decide it was too much, you can’t take it away.

You Are One of Two People – Remember the Golden Rule

As grapplers become more experienced at jiu jitsu, they turn their attention outward. They become able to pay it forward, to share lessons learned with the people coming up after them. Maybe during training, the higher belt feeds the lower belt the setup for the technique that was taught that day. Or maybe the higher belt allows the lower belt to start in the position of his or her choice to gain practice in that position. Or maybe the higher belt shares insight about strategy, mindset, or overcoming setbacks. Progression through the ranks brings an increasing focus on others.

“It’s like adding salt to a meal. If you use a little, you can always add more. But if you dump it on and then decide it was too much, you can’t take it away.”

This awareness is likely to be less developed in less-experienced grapplers because it is a skill learned over time. But it is never too soon to start practicing that kind of awareness, just like we practice a technique. Higher belts want to get something out of an exchange too, so it is both people’s responsibility to recognize it is not just about them.

The World Is Full of Spikes and Chesters

I am not perfect at any of this. Sometimes I let my ego get the better of me and try to win the training. But after many years, I am better able to recognize it, even if after the fact. I’m not proud of these moments, but I am aware I am making a choice, suboptimal though it is. With this awareness, I can make a better choice next time. And sometimes I even do.

The BJJ world is full of various Spikes and Chesters, all with different preferences and levels of experience. Spikes, how do you want Chesters to roll with you? Chesters, what do you want to tell Spikes?

More Like This:

• The 5 Phases Every BJJ Newbie Goes Through
• Surviving (Socially) the Beginner Phase of BJJ
• 4 Ways to Be a Good Training Partner
• New on Breaking Muscle Today

Photos courtesy of Ana Nieves.

The post How to Train BJJ With a More Experienced Practitioner (Or at Least This One) appeared first on Breaking Muscle.

Competition skill, while obviously related to straight jiu jitsu skill, has distinctions the aspiring competitor would do well to learn more about. Read on for five domains in which you might want to prepare, if you are considering throwing your hat into the Brazilian jiu jitsu competition ring.

1. Starting From the Feet

When it is time to roll during a typical jiu jitsu class, most academies have their students start seated or on the knees, due to space and safety considerations. These are good reasons to do this, but they put a would-be competitor at a disadvantage given that most, if not all, tournament matches start with the competitors facing each other on the feet.

“Spending some time familiarizing yourself with the five domains … will help you do what you came to the tournament to do: jiu jitsu.“

If you want to be an effective competitor, you would do well to become comfortable engaging on the feet, initiating takedowns or guard pulls, and defending those of your opponents. Otherwise, you might find yourself spending a lot of time working to play catch-up, points-wise (takedowns in most tournaments are worth two points), as well as psychologically (points or not, if your partner implements his or her strategy and you have none until one of you hits the mat, it can be difficult to recover your focus).

2. Managing Energy

In addition to increasing your chances of controlling a match from the get-go, starting from the feet will also help you work on a second important competition skill: managing your and your opponent’s energy.

If you have never worked on takedowns, you might make the mistake of equating the energy requirements of rolling on the ground with those of engaging on the feet. But most practitioners find it far more exhausting to drill takedowns than to be on the mat. Entering a competition without learning where you fall on this spectrum and doing as much as you can to condition your body for engagement on the feet is ill advised.

Part of the energy drain of squaring off on the feet can have to do with nerves. Lack of familiarity with the requirements of stand-up work can be accompanied by the feeling of being on stage, both of which can raise blood pressure and pulse rates. In other words, it can give rise to the competitor’s arch nemesis: the adrenaline dump. So, another element of energy management for competitors is becoming familiar with your own reaction to the fight-or-flight mechanism.

Still another energy management consideration has to do with learning how to parcel it out over multiple matches. Say you decide to register for a tournament and are eligible to participate in multiple divisions: gi, no-gi, your weight class, and the open division. You will be starting on the feet, “onstage,” for each match, and you could have anywhere from one to many more than one match in each division. In other words, you could end up contesting many more matches than you normally would at the end of a typical academy class, or even in an open mat, while also contending with significant additional cognitive and energy demands.

“If you want to be an effective competitor, you would do well to become comfortable engaging on the feet, initiating takedowns or guard pulls, and defending those of your opponents.”

And finally, in each of these matches, you will be squaring off against an opponent who wants the same thing you do – victory. So yet another energy consideration for the would-be competitor is the energy level of the opponent. Rest assured, it is likely to be intense and directed at doing whatever is legal – and maybe even legal-adjacent – in order to win. If you have not experienced that kind of intensity, you may be in for a surprise as soon as your opponent makes contact with you.

3. Filtering Stimuli

The first few times I competed, I was overwhelmed by sensory overload. I felt bombarded by the lights of the venue, the huge-seeming expanse of the competition mat, and the expressions on the faces of the other competitors, among many other things. I heard cheering and a booming voice over the loudspeaker announcing brackets and names. I felt my own heart beating. Oh, and nausea. I felt lots of nausea.

Then, during the match, I couldn’t hear or see anything, and all I could feel was the resistance of my opponents and my own labored breathing. Slowly, as I participated in more competitions and logged more matches, I became more effective at engaging with my opponent using part of my awareness, while other parts became able to listen for my coach’s voice, keep an eye on the timer, obey commands from the referee, and even occasionally appreciate the cheers from my friends and teammates.

I learned to ignore the referees on other mats, the cheers of my opponents’ teammates for them, my own fears and fatigue, and other stimuli that had no relevance to what I was trying to accomplish. Much as I wanted to head over to the acai stand, for instance, I had to pretend it did not exist until I had done my work.

4. Tournament Rules and Etiquette

Another domain in which effective competitors are well versed is that of tournament rules and etiquette. While various tournaments may have similar rule sets, it is important for competitors and their coaches to familiarize themselves with the rule sets for the specific tournaments in which they are participating.

“In other words, you may be in a state in which you have less control over your emotions than you normally would. But this does not give you permission to splatter them all over the assembled masses.“

Many’s the time competitors have been disqualified for applying a technique they thought was legal in their particular division that was actually not allowed. Rule sets are usually available on tournament websites and are categorized by belt level, gi/no-gi, and age, so it is generally not a problem to become familiar with them. In addition, many tournaments will hold rules meetings prior to the start of the events. And keep in mind that sometimes your coach may be busy coaching one of your teammates when it comes time for you to compete, so the more informed you are, the better.

A closely related domain is that of tournament etiquette. Sportsmanship is expected, as is the ability to follow the commands of the mat coordinators and the referees. This includes things like refraining from using profanity or arguing with the referee during the match.

5. Managing Emotions

Part of the reason you might want to use profanity or argue with the referee is because your emotions are running high. You are exerting yourself, may be fatigued, and have worked hard to get to this point, so you want to win. And the fact is that sometimes you will be on the receiving end of calls you do not agree with. And/or perhaps you were less familiar with the rules than you may have thought. Both things happen.

Or perhaps you have just had your hand raised by that referee in the finals match, so you are exhilarated, as well as fatigued. In other words, you may be in a state in which you have less control over your emotions than you normally would. But this does not give you permission to splatter them all over the assembled masses.

It is frowned upon at most any tournament to throw a tantrum of any kind if you lose a match. On the flip side, it is also frowned upon to showboat or grandstand if you win. Competitors have been disqualified for excessive displays of emotion on either end of the spectrum, so while it is understandable that you would experience corresponding emotions depending on the outcome of a match, learning to express them appropriately is a nontrivial matter. And, as with learning to execute an armbar, doing so is something that comes with time and practice.

Conclusion

Competing in Brazilian jiu jitsu is a potentially rewarding experience, and one that can help you with your jiu jitsu skill. But given the current competition environment, it is important to go into any tournament having trained hard and having educated yourself as much as possible about the rigors of competing. Spending some time familiarizing yourself with the five domains above will help you do what you came to the tournament to do: jiu jitsu.

What are some other skills you have had to learn to enable you to be an effective competitor in jiu jitsu? Post your experiences to comments.

Check out these related articles:

• Competition and Motivation: Essentials for the Athlete
• Keeping Competition Healthy
• Things Are Changing In the BJJ Competition World
• What’s New On Breaking Muscle Today

Photos courtesy of Dan Brown.

The post 5 Skills You Need to Compete Effectively in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu appeared first on Breaking Muscle.

I didn’t really wish her ill. I just dreaded her class and thought she was mean, though she wasn’t. She made herself available to answer questions and gave substantive and encouraging feedback, like any effective coach.

Also like any effective coach, she was clear about her expectations and our responsibilities: the stated purpose of the course was to teach us about pre-Civil War U.S. history. Another equally important purpose was to teach us critical thinking – how to formulate thesis statements about historical events and support our arguments with credible evidence.

Therein lay the problem: I could not do this, and my initial foray into learning how was about as enjoyable as food poisoning.

Growing Pains

Even today, I get anxious when I think about that course. Up until then, I’d had smooth sailing in school, with lots of smiley-face stickers, check-pluses, and 100 percents. This course was one of the first times I had to face the fact that the level of hard work and intelligence I had employed were not going to get me where I needed to go. I was going to have to step it up or die in the water, and I wasn’t sure if I had what it took. Later on, I would recognize this dynamic in my athletic endeavors.

“I discovered I was able to meet the academic demands of college. In graduate school, the written assignments came more easily to me than they seemed to for some of my peers.“

Some of my classmates and I keened and wailed about how impossible the work was and how frustrating our teacher was. With the benefit of hindsight and, I hope, some accumulated wisdom, I have learned that I did not like her or her course because they stretched me beyond my comfort zone. They made me question myself. Like my best coaches and my toughest athletic pursuits, they exposed my weaknesses and forced me to address them, when I would rather have continued thinking I was doing fine.

But then I would not have grown as a student and a person. I would not have been able to handle subsequent academic and professional demands nearly as well. Don’t get me wrong. I still make plenty of mistakes, have plenty left to learn, and feel plenty of fear and doubt. But the skills I learned in that course created the foundation for the intellectual work I have gone on to do since.

But creating that foundation was not easy; it took effort, mistakes, practice, patience, stick-to-itiveness, humility, and an appreciation for the small victories. All the things it takes to do anything worth doing, including anything athletic. All the things I hate.

Frustration Leads to Insight

During class periods, many of the other students and I had sat, sullen, staring daggers at our teacher. It was not until years later, long after I had put the significance of the Mayflower Compact and the Articles of Confederation out of my mind, that I started to realize what a gift that course had been, and what a gift my teacher had given me by insisting on more from me than I thought I could give and supporting me in giving it.

I discovered I was able to meet the academic demands of college. In graduate school, the written assignments came more easily to me than they seemed to for some of my peers. I started to notice my writing was considered strong and my ability to support my arguments with evidence solid, both in academic and professional settings. I had been well prepared. And I recognized this dynamic as I took on more athletic challenges as well: frustration with self and coach followed by breakthroughs.

“She gave her students spinach when they wanted candy, and they were healthier for it, even though they didn’t yet appreciate the value of health.“

Now I see things much more from my teacher’s perspective. Over time, I have morphed into a professor, an instructor, a coach. A teacher. I care about my students and how I am supporting their learning, whether it is in a classroom or on the mat. I understand it is my job to hold students to expectations and that this will cause frustration. But I also believe I am able to give students enough of what they need to get them to the next step. We are not perfect. But I do what I think is right, and I am confident in that.

Usually. Especially on the mat, there are those days when I am confronted with a sea of inscrutable faces, when the expressions on them could indicate anything from concentration to disgust to constipation. It is during those times, when my confidence is at low tide, that I must trust I am doing right by my students – based on experience and best practice, I am providing the right tools, asking the right questions, and making the right demands. I realize now how challenging it must have been for my teacher to encounter my and my classmates’ reactions – and lack thereof – day after day. Maybe she got used to teaching in a vacuum. I still have not.

The Tables Turn

Probably ten years later, I ran into this teacher. I made a beeline for her, and once I reminded her who I was, I talked so fast I stumbled over my words, wanting to tell her I had learned the importance of what she had taught us. I apologized for being a brat and said that I knew better now.

She laughed, saying she appreciated me approaching her. She said she believed in how she taught, even though she knew it could be painful for her students, because she knew, as I eventually realized, that it created a solid foundation for what came next. And she believed in us. But since most of her students sat through her course in a perpetual snit, like I had, and did not fully appreciate the value of the lessons until years later, like I had not, she did not often get to see transformations like the one I was able to share with her.

Now that I am the one making the instructional and coaching demands, I have become more able to appreciate the challenges she faced. Who doesn’t want to be liked? But that wasn’t her job. If it happened, that was nice. But if it didn’t, that was the price she paid for shepherding people who didn’t know what they didn’t know toward knowing more. She gave her students spinach when they wanted candy, and they were healthier for it, even though they didn’t yet appreciate the value of health. As coaches, we may find ourselves paying a similar price.

Tell Them about It

If there is a coach or teacher from your past whom you now know had a particularly positive influence on you, consider telling that person. She or he probably already knows. But I’m sure I speak for coaches and teachers everywhere when I say it is always nice to hear.

And if you are a coach or a teacher who gets down sometimes about whether you are getting through, keep on keeping on. The frustrated sighs and blank stares may actually signal that we have learning liftoff. Even if all that is registering for the student is panic, you can work with that.

“Now I see things much more from my teacher’s perspective. Over time, I have morphed into a professor, an instructor, a coach.“

Mrs. Anderson, this one’s for you. I’m grateful I got the chance to thank you for all you did for me – all you still do – once I figured out how to value it. (That last part was something I had to teach myself.)

Rest in peace.

Check out these related articles:

• Learning Sucks, But You Should Do It Anyway
• How to Learn From Both Success and Failure
• Don’t Always Take the Green Run: 5 Lessons From the Slopes
• What’s New On Breaking Muscle Today

Photos courtesy of Shutterstock.

The post Tough Lessons From My Teacher: Learning to Value Our Learning appeared first on Breaking Muscle.

Unconscious incompetence is the first stage in the model. In this stage, we don’t know much about the skill, and we don’t know how much we don’t know. In other words, we have only a very rudimentary understanding of what mastery of the skill might entail—and we will eventually find out that understanding is inadequate. We are likely unconsciously incompetent in any arena where we have no experience whatsoever.

Conscious incompetence comes next. In this stage, we have learned enough about the skill to realize how little we know. Our sophistication has increased somewhat, but so has our awareness of what it would take to get to a level of real sophistication. This stage can be uncomfortable to enter, because we realize both how little we knew in the previous stage and how much work it will take to progress to further stages.

Conscious competence is the stage where we find ourselves able to perform the skill increasingly well, but it takes lots of concentration and hard work to do so. We have a better appreciation for what it would take to become an expert, and while our performance relative to the skill continues to improve, we are also aware of the need to work at the skill as well as the fact that we are doing things differently from the way we used to do them.

Unconscious competence is the stage where our ability to perform the skill has become almost second nature. We improve still further at our execution of the skill and have to use less conscious effort to do so.

Each of us can probably identify multiple domains in which we are in each of these stages. Being in the conscious stages can be a bit uncomfortable. But that also provides an opportunity for us to improve our metacognition about learning different skills, and to broaden our horizons in general. Understanding where we are in the stages of skill acquisition can help us become comfortable with the discomfort everyone must feel in order to improve³.

The post The 4 Stages of Skill Acquisition appeared first on Breaking Muscle.

But it isn’t always easy. People who want to live decisively may find they sometimes have to make tradeoffs. Whether we are Olympians, weekend warriors, or somewhere in between, those of us who want to realize the potential in our lives may sometimes face the not-so-positive consequences of choosing this, not that.

The Price of Passion

Recently I have been thinking about the tradeoffs I have made for my own passion: Brazilian jiu jitsu. Over the years, I made countless decisions, both momentous and miniscule, to put jiu jitsu ahead of other people and things. But I do not as often consider the long-term effects of those decisions.

I reached out to some friends who, like me, have pursued BJJ for many years. All of these people, ten men and women, have earned their black belts, participating in some combination of teaching, competing, and traveling for their passion throughout their journey. I guess I went looking for validation that I was not the only one who sometimes looked back on her choices and wondered “what if.”

“I hope each of us squeezes all the sensation and experience we possibly can out of the lives we’ve been given.”

I asked my friends the following question: “What (if any) is the biggest tradeoff you have made in order to achieve your BJJ goals, particularly to earn your black belt?” In retrospect, I find the question to be poorly worded, because as some respondents pointed out, they do not train for rank; they train for love of the sport.

RELATED: The Difference Between Love and Fear In Fitness

Regardless, the question yielded some interesting and heartfelt responses. I discovered the respondents’ beliefs about the tradeoffs they made fell into several categories. While the sample size is small, the comments do provide some food for thought.

Relationships With Friends and Family

Half the respondents mentioned lost time with family and friends as a major tradeoff they made in order to train. As one person said:

“The biggest tradeoff for me was missing so many nights at home with my family. At our home the dinner table is more than just a place to eat, it is where we catch up with each other. It is where we invite friends into our life. It is really important.”

Another echoed this, commenting on how as a blue or purple belt, even though it meant limiting time with family, the thought of missing a class was unacceptable because “I always wanted to get better.”

Another person said:

“I was obsessed with the art, so that means it not only occupied the time I spent on the mat, but the rest of my waking time, as well. I put most of my energy into trying to figure out the jiu jitsu puzzle. That probably extended to (significant others) and friends outside of jiu jitsu as well. I am sure I was a better partner in training than I was in relationships.”

RELATED: Be What You Love: Finding Purpose In Art, Sport and Life

Another person commented on how even time spent with loved ones might not translate into “quality” time, observing that, “when tournaments were coming up…I had to become a different person to focus on the task at hand. And on top of physical time away, (there are also) those periods where only your body is there but your mind is thinking about the match coming up or the one that you just finished.”

Another respondent mentioned having “an extremely patient and understanding family, which makes the time sacrifice easier, but scheduling issues create a lot of headaches.”

“Over the years, I made countless decisions, both momentous and miniscule, to put jiu jitsu ahead of other people and things.”

Still another observed that the tradeoff didn’t necessarily feel like one in the moment, commenting, “Though I don’t think I was aware of it earlier on, I think I sacrificed my friends, supporters, and community. I was…obsessive about training and competing.” This respondent also discussed competition as all-consuming:

“Competition is an extremely selfish venture (not necessarily negative), and in order to pursue my passions, I made my priority mat time versus friend time, work time, other time. I know that many of my friends were happy to see me thrive in something I loved, but it often meant that other things couldn’t grow as quickly, deeply.”

Health

Health tradeoffs were even more prevalent, with six out of ten people mentioning them. One respondent said:

“I had to sacrifice my body. I traded playing catch in the backyard on Thanksgiving (shoulder pain), going on runs with my (spouse) (knee pain), running around all day with my (child) (back pain), and being able to hop right out of bed in the morning (everything pain), for a black belt in jiu jitsu. When I go to bed at night, I have to create a little splint/fort/gurney contraption out of pillows for my arm, and I have to stay in the same position all night. The alternative is to wake up in pain in the middle of the night.”

RELATED: 3 Steps For Returning to BJJ After an Injury

Another reported that while not all of the injuries were caused by jiu jitsu, “My body is broken. I have had two knee surgeries. I have tendinitis in both elbows. I have advanced arthritis in my neck and moderate arthritis in my back, ankles, and hands. I am in pain every day.” Still another reported feeling “luckier than some in terms of the physical sacrifices,” having needed “only” two BJJ-related surgeries so far.

Another respondent described an injured hip that was definitely worsened by BJJ. “I remember particular moments” while training “when my hip got f*cked up.” And yet another described “being miserable because I was nineteen but had the joints of a fifty-year-old.”

Other Pursuits

Respondents reported a few other tradeoffs. For instance, some decided not to do other things their friends and family were doing because they didn’t want to jeopardize their training. One respondent said:

[W]hen I was coming up in jiu jitsu…I’d go to the mountains with friends and they would ski, but I wouldn’t because I was worried that any kind of injury would keep me off the mat and delay my progress. I avoided most other sports that had the potential for injury because I felt I wouldn’t enjoy them enough to offset the risk of losing the opportunity to train.

Another commented:

I have had to limit some other physical activities which I enjoy. I can’t run to exhaustion, or lift super-intensely on a day when I expect to have quality training partners. Similarly, I need to be very careful of my diet, particularly on days I expect to train hard.

Smaller Tradeoffs

Although the question I asked was about the single largest tradeoff, one respondent commented:

[R]ather than any one major tradeoff or thing I gave up for my BJJ goals, what stands out to me is the cumulative effect of the little stuff. Giving up all those parties and happy hours. Starving for weeks to make weight. You give up those fun things everyone can do to enjoy things not everyone can, but you only live once and opportunities lost are something you can never get back. I wouldn’t trade it, but it’s still tough to think of all those carefree times others had I spent sick with anxiety.

RELATED: Applying the Discipline of a Marine In Your Own Training

Money

And one person’s comments probably don’t need embellishment or interpretation:

Okay, one thing I didn’t pursue was making money. I’m f*cking poor. I’m f*cking poor as sh*t and I live in a sh*tty apartment, and that’s because of jiu jitsu.

Is It Worth It?

Four respondents said they couldn’t think of any tradeoffs, that jiu jitsu was exactly what they wanted to do with their lives. One commented, “I honestly don’t know if there was much of a ‘tradeoff’ for getting to black belt, or getting to where I am now, because for me, this is just what I want to do.”

Another said:

It’s hard for me to think of the twelve years it took me to reach black belt in terms of things I gave up. I gained so much from jiu jitsu that most of the things I may have missed out on pale in comparison.

Still another said:

Long and short, it (jiu jitsu) became a part of me, so there never was a sacrifice. It’s like finding a job that doesn’t feel like work because you love it so much. Some days it’s a royal pain in my ass, but it doesn’t feel like a job once I hit the mats. It’s all worth the headaches and frustration.

That being said, three of these four people did subsequently mention tradeoffs. But even the respondent who now sleeps in a sling said:

But what are bodies for, if not to allow us to express ourselves through movement, dance, sport, etc? My body is a wreck, but it got that way because I used it to do something I love, and to accomplish something that very few ever accomplish. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Only one respondent said, “If I had it to do over again, I would not.”

Takeaways

Obviously, if I’m writing a story about tradeoffs, I must be thinking about my own. My goal is not to be a wet blanket. As I said, I hope each of us squeezes all the sensation and experience we possibly can out of the lives we’ve been given. But I wonder sometimes what my life might have been like if I had squeezed more in different places.

The following comment from one of the respondents really spoke to me, to the point where I teared up when I read it:

I’m pretty ambitious and expect a lot out of myself, but now I am much more cognizant of what I have to give every day. I suppose I sidelined developing the rest of my life in exchange for the opportunity to be great at BJJ. I’m very grateful to have had the time I did focusing 100% on myself and my game, but I also reflect on how rounded out other parts of my life could have been.

Have you made tradeoffs to pursue your passion, whatever it is? Or are you happy with the choices you have made? Or both? Post your experiences to comments.

Photos courtesy of David Brown.

The post Pursuing Your Athletic Passion: Are the Trade-offs Worth It? appeared first on Breaking Muscle.

The Fighting Arena on Wheels

One of the many cool things about the van, which seated eight or nine comfortably, was that the middle bench could be removed, leaving a big seating area on the floor that my mother covered with a quilt of colorful square welcome-mat type rugs. So, on long car rides, my sister and I could spread out back there with toys and games, riding in a child’s idea of style and comfort.

Yes, this meant we weren’t wearing seat belts, but remember, this was back in the days when, if parents had to slam on the brakes, they would throw an arm – which was often attached to a hand clutching a lit cigarette – across their child, who was probably standing on the bench seat in the front next to one or two other free-floating rug rats.

Another good (from a kid’s perspective) thing about the seating area in the back of the van was that it doubled as a steel cage. My sister and I are quite close now and have been for many years, but when we were kids, we had many a physical altercation. My sister’s secret weapon was psychological torture, while mine was simple rage.

I was not smart enough to retaliate in kind, but I was smart enough to know I was getting royally verbally punked. And on road trips, sometimes our pent-up energy would spill over and take the form of a headlining event. My parents, sitting in the front, could shout over their shoulders for us to cut it out, but they were also shielded physically from our confrontations by a partition.

‘”In recent weeks, I’ve been repeatedly reminded of this story, because I have found myself playing my parents’ role for some of my fellow grapplers who seem to need a similar opportunity to reset – and some assistance in doing it.”

My mother tells the story of a particularly contentious battle that probably took place when we were on the way to or from a family vacation somewhere on the Eastern seaboard: Mystic Seaport, Colonial Williamsburg, the Jersey shore, or the like. My sister and I had begun arguing, and the conflict had once again become physical.

We traded blows and kicks and continued name-calling, for minutes on end. My parents had gotten in the habit of letting us just punch it out, as intervening never seemed to work, and eventually we would retreat to our separate corners.

But on this occasion, after a particularly lengthy fight, apparently one of us finally said something like, “Please help us stop! I don’t even remember what we’re fighting about anymore!” So my parents intervened. They helped us reset, saving us from continuing to fight blindly without even knowing why.

Fighting a Mental Battle

In recent weeks, I’ve been repeatedly reminded of this story, because I have found myself playing my parents’ role for some of my fellow grapplers who seem to need a similar opportunity to reset – and some assistance in doing it. Only they seem to be fighting their own self-talk and their own crazy schedules.

RELATED: How to Manage Time, Energy, Emotions, and Expectations 

Various individuals have approached me asking for advice about their training, expressing anxiety, a feeling that their training is scattershot at best, and a sense that they have tons to do but don’t know where to start. Some of them have been concerned about getting the kind of training they want and need, and some have been concerned about motivation. Maybe it’s the busy-ness of the season. Maybe it’s our tendency as human beings to take on more than we feel we have time for. Regardless, somewhere along the way, these people have become derailed.

So, I asked each of these people the same few questions to guide their thinking and help them try to return to a clear path and their happy place.

Know Your “Why” for Training

First, I asked them to recall why they train. Whether you’ve been training for five months, five years, or five decades, you started for a reason way back when. Maybe several reasons.

But sometimes in the day-to-day of our training routines, we can forget the “why” and become bogged down in the “must.” I must train/work through this slump/prove something to someone. This is what had happened with many of these people. Me posing this question to them pulled them up short and prompted a realization that they had lost sight of their guiding principle.

“When we are feeling tunnel vision about our training, reminding ourselves to maintain perspective can help broaden our horizons again and help us feel more stable.”

If you are in that place in your mind, stop and take a minute to remind yourself why you started training in the first place, and why you train now. Are you still seeing to that fundamental purpose, whether it is the one that originally enticed you or the one that has developed over time? If not, what can you do to get back to it?

Staying Focused On Your Own Goals

Second, I asked these people a permutation of a question my father always asks me when he is helping me solve a problem: Who are you training for, and whose needs are being met by your training? This was another good place for reflection; we assume we are training for ourselves, but sometimes, somewhere along the way, we can discover that our needs have actually been sidelined in favor of someone else’s.

 “Whether you’ve been training for five months, five years, or five decades, you started for a reason way back when. Maybe several reasons.”

Has the answer to these questions slowly shifted to exclude “me” and “mine” as part of the answers? Have you done the imperceptible slide away from your own priorities and toward those of the teammate who always wants to drill? The instructor who asks you to teach? The significant other who counts your training as quality together time?

TRY THIS: What Do You Really Want? 

These could be perfectly good reasons to train – as long as they dovetail with your own reasons and do not replace them. But when we lose track, sometimes we realize that they have started to do exactly that.

How Does Your Training Fit Into Your Life?

Third, I asked these people to list for me (for themselves, really) their other priorities. Even the most dedicated grappler has at least some priorities besides grappling, whether these are cross-training, getting enough sleep, pursuing a non-jiu jitsu-related career, or spending time with friends and family.

“Various individuals have approached me asking for advice about their training, expressing anxiety, a feeling that their training is scattershot at best, and a sense that they have tons to do but don’t know where to start.”

When we are feeling tunnel vision about our training, reminding ourselves to maintain perspective can help broaden our horizons again and help us feel more stable. This doesn’t mean we need to de-prioritize training from its current status, but perhaps reminding ourselves of our other priorities can help us go back to viewing everything from a healthy perspective, particularly when we have started to feel off-kilter.

Don’t Waste Energy Fighting Yourself

Have you ever looked around and realized you are in a fight with your brain that you don’t remember the reason for? Has it affected your sense of how well you can get your training work done – or other things in your life, for that matter?

If so, what do you discover about how you might be able to recalibrate when you ask yourself the three questions above? Post your responses to comments.

Photos Courtesy of Shutterstock.

The post 3 Important Questions to Help Recalibrate Your Training Focus appeared first on Breaking Muscle.

RELATED: A New Normal: The Quirks of an Athletic Lifestyle

Impressive, Notable, and Awesome People

We marveled at how many amazing people we had met through BJJ, people we wouldn’t have met if we hadn’t taken up the pajama fighting. Some of them, of course, are impressive to us because they are good at what we strive to be good at. Others are notable just for being awesome people who themselves may or may not train but who have touched our lives in some way. And still others are both: people who impress us with their grappling skill but whose other positive attributes we have also had the opportunity to observe.

I started to think more about people I’ve met through jiu-jitsu and how they have affected me. Of course, over the years I have encountered many people who have become longstanding friends, teachers, confidantes, and business partners, and I am grateful for all of them – and I hope they know it.

Little Interactions With a Massive Impact

I’ve also met people who were perhaps in my life for a short time but left an indelible impression. One particularly memorable time I experienced this was when I ran the Chicago marathon in October 1996.

My running pace is not what you’d call fast – just ask my friend and fellow Breaking Muscle contributor Tori Garten, a former collegiate track and cross country athlete. Once, in recent years when we were traveling together and had to sprint to make our connecting flight, her sprint was, shall we say, far sprintier than mine. She kindly had the airline staff hold the plane for me until I trundled to the gate.

“[O]ver the years I have encountered many people who have become longstanding friends, teachers, confidantes, and business partners, and I am grateful for all of them – and I hope they know it.”

So, on the day of the marathon, I had been steadily but slowly moving along for maybe three hours, and I still had a ways to go. I passed into yet another Chicago neighborhood that featured the telltale signs of a recent stampede – discarded cups, bar wrappers, and orange peels; dwindling crowds; and the like. There were still people cheering, but they were fewer and farther between, and given that there were probably many far faster people who had already finished the marathon or were headed to the finish line at that point, the action was definitely not where I was.

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I was still gamely chugging along, though, when I started to hear a banging noise a little bit ahead of me. I looked in the direction of the sound and saw a little old lady standing on the side of the race route, wrapped in winter clothing from head to toe, though it must have been in the fifties by that time of the morning. She was holding a pot and smacking it with a wooden spoon, nodding and smiling from ear to ear. My guess is that she had been out there since the pre-dawn start of the marathon – hence the winter clothing – and that she’d be there until the bitter end.

I didn’t talk to this woman and have no idea where she is now, or even any idea how I would begin to go about finding her if I were so inclined. But now, almost twenty years later, I still remember her, particularly the energizing impact she had on my tired, plodding self as I tried to test my own limits. She never knew how much her pot banging meant, but I’m grateful I got to cross paths with her, even if just during exact moment when I needed her.

What follows is my contemplation of five people I would never have met, and who would never have enhanced my life, if I hadn’t walked into my first intimidating, completely alien-seeming beginner jiu jitsu class.

Joe

I vividly remember the first day I met Joe. He had a shaved head, numerous tattoos, and piercings in his earlobes, lip, and other body parts that I would later, outside of class, see adorned with jewelry. (And some I wouldn’t see but would rather take his word for.) I was still a bit new to the BJJ scene at that time, so when I looked at him, I expected someone hard, mean, and badass. Someone I would have zero in common with, because I was so woefully square (the kind of person who says things like “woefully square”).

“I was still a bit new to the BJJ scene at that time, so when I looked at him, I expected someone hard, mean, and badass Someone I would have zero in common with, because I was so woefully square.”

Turns out that one out of three ain’t bad. Joe is badass, but he is also extremely kind and empathetic, and for a while, until our paths drifted from each other, he was one of my favorite training partners, and I was one of his, or so he said. He took me seriously as a grappler, he kept me on my toes, and although our life experiences had differed, and although we might have looked different on the surface, we discovered fundamental commonalities that enabled us to create a temporary, but real, connection.

Magda

Magda was the mother of one of the students in the kids’ class at an academy I trained at for a while. Magda would drive her son to class and stay to chat with the other parents, instructors, and students waiting for the adult classes, and as I got to know her, I discovered that the strength of her love for her kid was rivaled only by the creativity with which she swore.

She swore about the line at the supermarket. She swore about the other parents at the bake sales. She swore about the cost of back-to-school clothes. And one time she told me in great, blue detail what she would do to anyone who tried to hurt her kid. I pitied anyone foolish enough. And always admired how completely herself Magda was, how utterly unconcerned about what other people thought of her choices. She had an ironclad value system, one that overlapped significantly with mine, for what it’s worth, and she lived up to it on a daily basis. And if you didn’t like it, you could deal with a bunch of f-words.

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Keely

I met Keely when I was a student of her father, an Olympic-caliber wrestler. She was about four years old at the time, and she came to the academy and hung out with her mom while her dad was teaching. It quickly became apparent that in addition to being a sunny, happy kid, she was also dangerously smart, and that as she got older things were just going to get more and more interesting when she was around.

“Adult” conversations between parents or people waiting for the next class turned out not to be as cryptic to kids as the adults would probably have hoped, as evidenced by the fact that after listening quietly, Keely would often ask a pointed question or make a comment to her mother that demonstrated she had not missed a trick.

One day Keely drew a picture for me on a Post-it note that included a random-seeming string of letters. But I didn’t ask her what it meant because I assumed she was writing in a code scientists smarter than I would someday crack. From the day I met her, Keely called me Celery. And when Keely pulls on your shirt tail and says, “Celery, Celery,” you immediately say, “Yes, Keely, what can I do for you?”

Mat Coordinators

This is a twofer. During the late 2000s and early 2010s, I competed pretty regularly, working on improving my competition skill as I was working on improving my jiu jitsu skill. As a result, I came into contact with many staff members at many tournaments: referees, table workers, even medal-hander-outers.

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Two people in particular, one man and one woman, stand out in my memory. They were mat coordinators for International Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Federation (IBJJF) tournaments, which means they managed brackets, wrangled the competitors in those brackets through weigh-ins and gi checks, and escorted us to our competition mats. I encountered each of these two mat coordinators multiple times over the years, and they were always professional, efficient, and encouraging.

Early on, when I was so scared about competing that I could barely breathe and walk at the same time, they seemed to sense that, and they made sure to smile and look me in the eye. In later years, when I had gotten more comfortable with the discomfort of competing and could be more interpersonal with it, we actually had brief conversations in the bullpen. I know I learned their names once or twice, but I also know this happened when I was less experienced and could barely remember my own name, so those are lost to me unless/until I have the opportunity to cross paths with them again. But I am not likely ever to forget their positivity and soothing energy.

Whom have you met through BJJ, practitioner or otherwise, who has enhanced your life, even if just momentarily, and whom you would likely not have met if not for your training habit? Post your “five people you met in BJJ” to comments.

Photos courtesy of David Brown Photography.

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